Bismillah.
In this land of Chaos
Chirping birds wake up
Playing harmonic tones of paradise
Of how they can freely fly
Without any agony and despair
I have describe a very brief, short of my heart piercing.
Hearts roaring and I know this is not the way of life that I would like to lead.
Whenever I talk about this current path, it's just an empty feeling as I don't feel any excitement.
God knows, this desire of mine to believe that I will be just fine, continuing and see the end, I am fighting until I felt sore. I just hope that I will not reach my breaking point and shatters.
Some say that what I dream of is just that flying too high, not concious of reality and rebelling too much.
Yes, I do. Maybe this is just immaturity of this young lady.
Those unreachable dreams always seem to just appear in my sleep which are unforgettable for me.
Waking up happily but then I realized that it is just a dream. Signs of longing. And sighing silently. Muttering that its hurt me that this is not a reality.
One of it that I was fluently speaking in Latin in a small county of an unknown city. People were wearing shabby robe and that place smelled wet as it was raining before. I guess they were not from Muslim community. Somehow, its atmosphere akin to Vatican City near 1600-1800 year. But I am not sure whether I also speak another language or not in that dream. Feels like I do but forgot about it already. After that, I came to know that actually I love to study ancient languages and to dive into the histories as well.
I was travelling to a lot of countries such as Egypt, Jordan, Turkey, Russia, Japan, outskirts of Mecca (This was the saddest dream of mine. Woke up in tears). Travelling is one of my passions though.
See, while writing these part of my dreams, I do flutter a lot.
Before this, as I went to Library to study, and suddenly nature called me. I passed by a few book shelves which lastly I saw a section of 'Philosophy and Religion' and stopped.
After all, I sat near that book shelf and happened to read for hours.
Really, could not help restraining myself even for a while to just having curiosity about these matters.
A token of appreciation for kak Eisma Adiba, for asking me to drive her to Pondok in Kelantan. It was the moment where I start to appreciate, recognize and acknowledge these instituitions. Place where I pursue my study, in university, is simply not enough. Sounds like a very ungrateful bachelor. No, its not that I am conveying negative vibes about being a university's student, but the way we are looking at. Many of students thinking that education is the best to gain and learn it in university. At sides of formality, I am admitting that this will be very helpful in order to survive in this real world.
Today, I have a grasp why some of these incandescent and bright students were a dropped out.
Pondok---> Madrasah Hayrat (to learn Rasaail An-Nuur)
Working out for business while learning and I really want to wander around London, Oxford and even going to Palestine. Tracking historical places will definitely makes me feel better. Because people always see me with true solemnness, there is another face of me. In grace of cherishing aesthetics and arts, I would love to have my two own hands that can draws and paints. But I am someone who is not gifted in these.
Soon, I have to decide again how I'm going to live my life.
I am praying that I will soon satisfy with everything that I have and be grateful upon it.
Aamiin.
From only-talk-dare.
Stop living in fear.
In this land of Chaos
Chirping birds wake up
Playing harmonic tones of paradise
Of how they can freely fly
Without any agony and despair
I have describe a very brief, short of my heart piercing.
Hearts roaring and I know this is not the way of life that I would like to lead.
Whenever I talk about this current path, it's just an empty feeling as I don't feel any excitement.
God knows, this desire of mine to believe that I will be just fine, continuing and see the end, I am fighting until I felt sore. I just hope that I will not reach my breaking point and shatters.
Some say that what I dream of is just that flying too high, not concious of reality and rebelling too much.
Yes, I do. Maybe this is just immaturity of this young lady.
Those unreachable dreams always seem to just appear in my sleep which are unforgettable for me.
Waking up happily but then I realized that it is just a dream. Signs of longing. And sighing silently. Muttering that its hurt me that this is not a reality.
One of it that I was fluently speaking in Latin in a small county of an unknown city. People were wearing shabby robe and that place smelled wet as it was raining before. I guess they were not from Muslim community. Somehow, its atmosphere akin to Vatican City near 1600-1800 year. But I am not sure whether I also speak another language or not in that dream. Feels like I do but forgot about it already. After that, I came to know that actually I love to study ancient languages and to dive into the histories as well.
I was travelling to a lot of countries such as Egypt, Jordan, Turkey, Russia, Japan, outskirts of Mecca (This was the saddest dream of mine. Woke up in tears). Travelling is one of my passions though.
See, while writing these part of my dreams, I do flutter a lot.
Before this, as I went to Library to study, and suddenly nature called me. I passed by a few book shelves which lastly I saw a section of 'Philosophy and Religion' and stopped.
After all, I sat near that book shelf and happened to read for hours.
Really, could not help restraining myself even for a while to just having curiosity about these matters.
A token of appreciation for kak Eisma Adiba, for asking me to drive her to Pondok in Kelantan. It was the moment where I start to appreciate, recognize and acknowledge these instituitions. Place where I pursue my study, in university, is simply not enough. Sounds like a very ungrateful bachelor. No, its not that I am conveying negative vibes about being a university's student, but the way we are looking at. Many of students thinking that education is the best to gain and learn it in university. At sides of formality, I am admitting that this will be very helpful in order to survive in this real world.
Today, I have a grasp why some of these incandescent and bright students were a dropped out.
Pondok---> Madrasah Hayrat (to learn Rasaail An-Nuur)
Working out for business while learning and I really want to wander around London, Oxford and even going to Palestine. Tracking historical places will definitely makes me feel better. Because people always see me with true solemnness, there is another face of me. In grace of cherishing aesthetics and arts, I would love to have my two own hands that can draws and paints. But I am someone who is not gifted in these.
Soon, I have to decide again how I'm going to live my life.
I am praying that I will soon satisfy with everything that I have and be grateful upon it.
Aamiin.
From only-talk-dare.
Stop living in fear.
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